Relationships

I finished reading The New Father yesterday. It was a fun, interesting, and (most importantly) helpful book about the first year of fatherhood. There were many topics that the author covered that I will absolutely re-read once WuBerry is born, but one of the last topics he covered that I felt was worth blogging about was Relationships.

Look back on the first year of fatherhood and think about how the relationships in your life have changed.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about the change that's going to happen to my relationship with the most important person in my life: Hannah. It's not that I think she or I are going to become completely different people or that I'm afraid of change, but we will have a new focus in life: WuBerry. 

Our roles within our relationship will be different. Just think about that for a second. Not to completely oversimplify, but my relationship with Hannah has grown yet not drastically changed since we started dating in 2008. (Yes, even marriage didn't change our core relationship that much). 

However, once WuBerry arrives, Hannah is going to take on the bulk of the childrearing duties and take a significant amount of time off. She will develop the mother-child bond almost immediately purely based on the amount of time she will spend with WuBerry, and that is fantastic! I'm so excited for her.

I, on the other hand, will be back to work after just a few weeks of paternity leave. I want to develop that special father-daughter bond, but I know it probably won't happen as quickly as it will for Hannah. Managing that ever-changing imbalance--our lives changing at different speeds--will be interesting to say the least. With regards to the new challenges, I say, "BRING IT ON!"

The book touches on the importance of showing your appreciation for your child's mother, keeping the communication lines open when concerns arise, and making time for one-on-one dates to maintain good marriage hygiene. I won't belabor this, but it's definitely been on my mind.

I want our families to have a significant impact on WuBerry's and future WuBerries' lives. Hannah and I grew up spending a lot of time with grand parents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. We loved it and want that same experience for our children. On top of that, I never knew my grandfathers, so I definitely want my dad and Hannah's dad to develop their relationships with WuBerry.

The challenge for my side of the family is that we're spread across the country. The Wu's have been doing a pretty good job of seeing each other on a somewhat regular basis, but it's nowhere near as often as it probably should be. I've gotten away with it for the past few years because I have been living the young, childless lifestyle and have been able to pop in to see my nephews on an irregular but somewhat consistent basis. Coordination and planning will be key to keep us in close contact. It would help if we lived closer to each other! [hint hint, winky face]

Lastly, I can't finish without addressing the relationships with my friends. The author mentioned that in the first year, you'll likely spend less time with your single, non-parent friends, and more time with other new parents, whether through existing friendships or completely new parent-group friends. I've always tried to make an effort to keep in touch with old and new friends, and whether or not they have kids, I want them to know I still care about them. Hopefully they will understand that I'll have slightly different priorities but will still want to see them if they don't mind planning around my new baby-centric schedule!

Current ambiance at home: Hannah is working at the dining table while I type laid back on the couch. We're listening to Perlman & Previn playing the music of Scott Joplin. It's peaceful, and we're not sleep deprived. These are the simple things that we take for granted now.

To wrap this post, here's a photo from the nursery tonight after we put up the book shelves and artwork. The shelves are Ribba Picture Ledges from Ikea and fit perfectly.

I realize this and many of my posts are just thoughts on the imminent changes in my life...nothing too earth shattering or unique, to which most would just bark, "Just deal with it and stop whining." So, if I get a little repetitive, just know it's helping me to organize my thoughts and emotions here. Plus, you probably all know that this is how I am anyway, so I'm not going to apologize. :)